These are the days of tweeting, blogging, posting, instagraming, you name it. Everyone seems to be doing it. Some people seem very comfortable expressing every morsel of their living and breathing and eating into the world. Not that this isn’t totally fascinating to the one sharing, but most people (including me) don’t care about what you ate for breakfast, who you ate it with, and what you were wearing. However, when someone writes with a raw vulnerability, expressing with exquisite clarity a thought or feeling that I recognize in myself, I tend to sit up and take notice. Truth has a way of getting your attention.Read More
To be honest, writing about the subject of compassion seemed a little daunting to me. What ran through my head was the thought, “What could I possibly have to say about this that hasn’t been said before? I’m no Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa.” Then, today as I was searching though some papers, I came upon a prayer that I wrote when I was in my early 20’s.Read More
Loneliness can be dealt with in many ways, and the attitude you have towards yourself and the vulnerability that this feeling produces has a lot to do with how much suffering you will assign to it. What do I mean by that?Read More
I don’t think anyone enjoys the feeling of vulnerability. We don’t like asking for help as we have been conditioned to see that as a sign of weakness. Being judged as “needy” seems to be the ultimate insult as we like to think of ourselves as able to stand on our own two feet, as being self-sufficient. We take up sayings like, “It’s better to be a giver than a receiver.” Giving is an act of a generous heart and it also gives us a sense of control. Receiving can be really uncomfortable as it goes against the rules we have inside. We don’t want to be seen as takers or as victims.Read More
There are times when I feel I must apologize for my fellow human beings when my clients share what people have said to them or some of the thoughtless ways they have been treated at their time of loss. I believe that people mean well. It’s just that most of us don’t have a very comfortable relationship with strong emotions like grief, anger, or hopelessness. When feelings like this are expressed in our midst, we will tend to gloss over it or try to shut it down entirely.
Learning to tolerate other’s reactions to your grief can be one of the most painful, yet necessary tasks of rebuilding your life after loss.Read More
See if this sounds familiar…you wake up exhausted already. Your feet hit the floor and there’s barking at the kids to get ready for school, getting yourself presentable, making breakfast and the kids’ lunches, dashing into the office, working through lunch because you were late, grabbing a candy bar (heck, two) from the vending machine at 2:30, rushing out the door to pick up the kids from school, trying to figure out what kind of dinner you can make out of takeout fried chicken, canned corn, and whatever is moldering in the bottom of the veggie bin...Read More
My mom would have been 77 this week. She died 4 months ago, and I find myself at the bottom of the well of grief today – somewhat unexpectedly. But hey, as much as I anticipated that her birthday would bring forward the grief, I learned that you can’t plan for the really heart-rending days in advance.
When you experience a painful, life-changing event like losing a life partner through death or divorce, there are times when the pain is so excruciating and raw that you wonder if you will even be able to cope with it, let alone benefit from it in any way.Read More
The attitude towards grief in mainstream America is often one of impatience. Many of us are uncomfortable with acknowledging our emotions, especially the negative ones. If you think about it, grief is just downright inefficient. Grief gets in the way of “business as usual,” because it’s the reaction to our lives being turned upside down by loss.Read More