I’ve been studying Love lately. Both how it relates to me personally and to my work as a coach. I work with people who are going through a dark time in their lives – what was once their joy (a loving intimate relationship) is now their deepest despair. In exploring their loss and pain, the question inevitably comes to love: “How will I ever feel safe to love again?”
Read moreAre You Chasing the Unicorn of Work/Life Balance?
It’s 9:30 pm. You got home at a reasonable time and rustled up a decent dinner. You’ve got the kids fed, teeth brushed, homework discussed, and they are tucked into bed. You climb into bed with your partner (who has that special look in their eye that you meet with that, “Don’t even go there” look of your own), you are balancing a glass of wine on one knee, your laptop on the other (answering work email), and the TV is on Real Housewives of Wherever.
This is what you call “me” time.
You congratulate yourself for checking all the important boxes for the day. Took care of the boss. Check. Handled the needs of your direct reports. Check. Kids. Check. Your partner. Check minus. Looming deadlines, client’s never-ending requests for “just one more thing,” responding supportively to your BFF's 17 text messages to rant about her divorce. Check. Check. Check. You’re awesome. You’ve got this.
And, as you are multitasking your way through the finish line of your day, you know you need this last hour to decompress before you lay your head down to sleep and get up tomorrow to do it over again. You’re doing an impressive job of fitting it all in.
You are so there for everyone and everything that is important to you.
Engaging the Healing Power of Music
The ability of music, sound, and harmony to heal the body, mind, and emotions has been recognized as far back as ancient civilizations of Greece. The field of Music Therapy is a widely recognized field and has applications in hospitals, hospices, and institutional settings.
I have been involved with music for almost all of my life. My mother had a small collection of classical music records that, even as a young child, I listened to, over and over. I started playing the piano when I was 8, but it was the day that my band instructor placed a French horn in my hands that the love affair with music really took hold.
Read moreFinding Solace Through Writing
These are the days of tweeting, blogging, posting, instagraming, you name it. Everyone seems to be doing it. Some people seem very comfortable expressing every morsel of their living and breathing and eating into the world. Not that this isn’t totally fascinating to the one sharing, but most people (including me) don’t care about what you ate for breakfast, who you ate it with, and what you were wearing. However, when someone writes with a raw vulnerability, expressing with exquisite clarity a thought or feeling that I recognize in myself, I tend to sit up and take notice. Truth has a way of getting your attention.
Read moreThe Faces of Compassion
To be honest, writing about the subject of compassion seemed a little daunting to me. What ran through my head was the thought, “What could I possibly have to say about this that hasn’t been said before? I’m no Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa.” Then, today as I was searching though some papers, I came upon a prayer that I wrote when I was in my early 20’s.
Read moreThe First Step in Opening to Receive - Be Willing to Ask
I don’t think anyone enjoys the feeling of vulnerability. We don’t like asking for help as we have been conditioned to see that as a sign of weakness. Being judged as “needy” seems to be the ultimate insult as we like to think of ourselves as able to stand on our own two feet, as being self-sufficient. We take up sayings like, “It’s better to be a giver than a receiver.” Giving is an act of a generous heart and it also gives us a sense of control. Receiving can be really uncomfortable as it goes against the rules we have inside. We don’t want to be seen as takers or as victims.
Read moreThe Secret to Wellbeing: Radical Self-Care
See if this sounds familiar…you wake up exhausted already. Your feet hit the floor and there’s barking at the kids to get ready for school, getting yourself presentable, making breakfast and the kids’ lunches, dashing into the office, working through lunch because you were late, grabbing a candy bar (heck, two) from the vending machine at 2:30, rushing out the door to pick up the kids from school, trying to figure out what kind of dinner you can make out of takeout fried chicken, canned corn, and whatever is moldering in the bottom of the veggie bin...
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