Are You Chasing the Unicorn of Work/Life Balance?

August 21, 2017 Carrie Doubts

It’s 9:30 pm. You got home at a reasonable time and rustled up a decent dinner. You’ve got the kids fed, teeth brushed, homework discussed, and they are tucked into bed. You climb into bed with your partner (who has that special look in their eye that you meet with that, “Don’t even go there” look of your own), you are balancing a glass of wine on one knee, your laptop on the other (answering work email), and the TV is on Real Housewives of Wherever.

This is what you call “me” time.

You congratulate yourself for checking all the important boxes for the day. Took care of the boss. Check. Handled the needs of your direct reports. Check. Kids. Check. Your partner. Check minus. Looming deadlines, client’s never-ending requests for “just one more thing,” responding supportively to your BFF's 17 text messages to rant about her divorce. Check. Check. Check. You’re awesome. You’ve got this.

And, as you are multitasking your way through the finish line of your day, you know you need this last hour to decompress before you lay your head down to sleep and get up tomorrow to do it over again. You’re doing an impressive job of fitting it all in.

You are so there for everyone and everything that is important to you.

Grace Under Pressure

December 7, 2015 Carrie Doubts

We all experience pressures in our lives. We feel pressured to perform, to conform, to please others. We experience financial pressures, social pressures, career and professional pressures - pressures in relationships, (marriages, partnerships, parenting, etc.). We want to pin the blame for pressure we feel on outer situations, circumstances, and/or people. We think we need to take our power back from these external forces. And, this accurate – when we are experiencing pressure, it’s a signal that we have an opportunity to call our energy and power back to ourselves. We just get confused on how to do that.

Reframing Relationships

August 9, 2015 Carrie Doubts

What is a relationship, really? There are a few ways of looking at it. Firstly, we tend to see a relationship as a thing, referring to it in conversation as a noun. If you consider this a little deeper, you could think of relationship as the act of relating, connecting, bonding that you participate in with another.

Doing Battle With Discouragement

September 18, 2014 Carrie Doubts

I want to write today about courage. And, to be honest, I’m writing about this today as a way to deal with the feelings of discouragement that I’ve been experiencing lately.

Am I really going to admit here that I have been feeling discouraged? Yep. Here’s why. I think it’s very important to own up to the fact that I’m human and my struggle looks VERY much like the struggles I help my clients work through. Different sub-plots, but it’s essentially the same story and my work is to let go of my story and get out of “victim” mode as quickly as I can.

The Energy Levels of Grief

April 13, 2014 Carrie Doubts

It’s been reported that it takes people 5-8 years, on average, to recover from a devastating loss.

Dealing with loss leaves you vulnerable to developing depression or anxiety disorders, or increasing dependency on drugs or alcohol as a means to cope. These more serious conditions often lead people to seek treatment from a therapist or counselor, and there are many, many excellent, dedicated professionals to which you can turn to get the help you need if that is what you are going through.

However, most of the people I speak with about their loss are experiencing the normal, natural responses to loss – and that is grief.

Forgiveness: the Gateway to Freedom

January 30, 2014 Carrie Doubts

It’s well known that human beings get very angry and upset when they are deeply hurt. Anger, resentment, bitterness, regret – these are emotional reactions that are very common. You may be feeling angry at others – your partner for leaving you, family, friends, institutions like hospitals or insurance companies, even at God. You also may be dealing with anger at yourself for things you did, or things you didn’t do. At the root of the anger is the belief that things happened that “should” not have happened.

The Power of Choice

January 1, 2014 Carrie Doubts

I often hear people saying that they “have to” do something. What do you think that means in terms of the energy level that is being expressed? They are probably viewing the situation from the perspective of low energy or even apathy. “I have to go to work,” means that you think you have no other choice but to go to work. This is self-oppression at a very subtle yet insidious form.

Navigating Through Emotional Storms

November 21, 2013 Carrie Doubts

We all have our emotional ups and downs – highs and lows, peaks and valleys. And, when you are dealing with loss and grief, it seems like you get to spend a lot of time in the valleys. Not everyone experiences anger as part of their grieving processes, but many do, and part of what is distressing is that your anger can come out of nowhere when you least expect it. It can be upsetting to feel anger towards yourself, the person who left, the doctors, the courts, at God even. Know that anger is a normal and understandable emotion at this time, because of the extreme stress you are dealing with.

Underneath it all is pain and a sense of a loss of control. Nothing is as it should be. It’s as though a typhoon has blown through your consciousness and you know your life will never be the same again. You didn’t ask for this.

Finding Solace Through Writing

October 20, 2013 Carrie Doubts

These are the days of tweeting, blogging, posting, instagraming, you name it. Everyone seems to be doing it. Some people seem very comfortable expressing every morsel of their living and breathing and eating into the world. Not that this isn’t totally fascinating to the one sharing, but most people (including me) don’t care about what you ate for breakfast, who you ate it with, and what you were wearing. However, when someone writes with a raw vulnerability, expressing with exquisite clarity a thought or feeling that I recognize in myself, I tend to sit up and take notice. Truth has a way of getting your attention.

The First Step in Opening to Receive - Be Willing to Ask

July 25, 2013 Carrie Doubts

I don’t think anyone enjoys the feeling of vulnerability. We don’t like asking for help as we have been conditioned to see that as a sign of weakness. Being judged as “needy” seems to be the ultimate insult as we like to think of ourselves as able to stand on our own two feet, as being self-sufficient. We take up sayings like, “It’s better to be a giver than a receiver.” Giving is an act of a generous heart and it also gives us a sense of control. Receiving can be really uncomfortable as it goes against the rules we have inside. We don’t want to be seen as takers or as victims.

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Mar 22, 2024

Joy Rising

Mar 22, 2024

Joy is my true nature. It is the Soul’s currency. It’s just easy to lose sight of the joy that I am when it’s been blanketed in heavy snow for so long during the winter of grief. But, like the crocus will break through in spring, I trust that it is inevitable that joy will also rise from the depths. You can’t keep joy down forever.

Mar 22, 2024

Jul 5, 2022

Grief Is Not a Problem to be solved

Jul 5, 2022

Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a message that wants our attention.

Jul 5, 2022

Aug 7, 2020

Divorce - A Hero's Journey

Aug 7, 2020

The Hero’s Journey is the path that heroes take as part of their development from immaturity and potential to the embodiment of mastery and freedom. It’s a transformational process.

Because of this divorce, you are on your own Hero’s journey, your own process of transformation.

Aug 7, 2020

Apr 27, 2020

In Sickness and in Health

Apr 27, 2020

This little phrase that’s tucked into wedding vows carries little meaning when you are young and standing in front of the officiant with your beloved. And yet, it’s a solemn promise to love and support your spouse, no matter what.

Apr 27, 2020

Sep 30, 2019

Anger - the Most Unloved Emotion

Sep 30, 2019

Anger is an emotion that has a lot of bad press. Most often what we experience is people inflicting their anger onto others. When you’re angry, it’s easy to lash out on your loved ones and those who least deserve it.

Because of its destructive potential, many people are afraid of anger. When this is the case, anger is often denied and left unexpressed.

Sep 30, 2019

Sep 3, 2019

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Sep 3, 2019

An Elegy written for the passing of my beloved Cotton

Sep 3, 2019

Feb 20, 2019

She Has a Name - A Love Letter Written in the Midst of Divorce

Feb 20, 2019

I never thought I would be divorced. Marriage was for life. Or so I thought. Or so we thought. It was a holy expectation, a deep commitment to the lifelong. Through better and worse. Through the drama and mundane of life. We made vows before God and family and friends. We uttered them meaningfully.

Feb 20, 2019

Jul 17, 2018

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Jul 17, 2018

I’ve been studying Love lately. Both how it relates to me personally and to my work as a coach. I work with people who are going through a dark time in their lives – what was once their joy (a loving intimate relationship) is now their deepest despair. In exploring their loss and pain, the question inevitably comes to love: “How will I ever feel safe to love again?”

Jul 17, 2018

Nov 13, 2017

Divorce Grief: What Is It and What Can You Do About It?

Nov 13, 2017

Divorce is one of the most deeply painful experiences you can go through in your life. This is true if you were the one left behind or if you decided to end the marriage. Even if the end was a long time coming, and somewhat inevitable, what often surprises people is how heartbroken they feel when the end actually comes.

Divorce is a death – the death of your marriage and all the hopes and dreams you had of “happily ever after.” With the death of your marriage comes a whole host of secondary losses. Grief comes knocking at your door, insisting to be let in whether you want to or not.